Want to join in the International City Day of Action?

On this day, we ask you all to don your finest pinstripe suit, apply your monocles, glue mobile phones to your ear and then head off down to Brighton to disrupt as many dreadlocked men and women with dogs on string as possible.

Plan of action:

• picket henna tattoo stalls
• throw cheap pewter jewelry into the sea
• storm the dole office and glue the doors shut
• throw soap and other cleansing materials at the men with dogs on string
• occupy any spare grassland and start laying foundations for new 'superbank'
• hand out photocopies of salary slips
• hang the dogs on string with their string as a little ironic joke
• set fire to unattended shopping trolleys
• raid off-licenses, destroying cans of Special Brew, Tennants Super,Thunderbird and cheap cider
• destroy copies of any Levellers albums

Police advice at present to the men with dogs on string is:

• to get a job
• to get a haircut
• have a wash
• avoid police vans
• "to mind those stairs, sir, as they're very slippery and treacherous, like - very similar to the ones down the station, sir, if you catch my drift"

Go back to the Astbury Humour page

Last revised 31 July 1999.