Computer Chickens

More thoughts on why chickens cross roads...

• NT Chicken:
  Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
  


• OS/2 Chicken:
  It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
  


• Win 95 Chicken:
  You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
  


• Microsoft Chicken (TM):
  It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
  


• OOP Chicken:
  It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
  


• Assembler Chicken:
  First it builds the road ...
  


• C Chicken:
  It crosses the road without looking both ways.
  


• C++ Chicken:
  The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to it on the other side.
  


• VB Chicken:
  USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)
  


• Delphi Chicken:
  The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
  


• Java Chicken:
  If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)
  


• Web Chicken:
  Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
  


• Gopher Chicken:
  Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
  


• Newton Chicken:
  Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket !
  


• Cray Chicken:
  Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
  


• Quantum Logic Chicken:
  The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course
  


• Lotus Chicken:
  Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !
  


• Mac Chicken:
  No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
  


• Al Gore Chicken:
  Waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.
  


• COBOL Chicken:
  0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
ENDIF


Go back to the Astbury Humour page

Last revised 4 February 2001.