1. In a Beijing hotel lobby - The lift is being fixed for next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
2. In a Shanghai hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
3. In a Hangzhou hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
4. In a Jilin hotel: You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
5. In a Wuxi dry cleaner: Please drop your trousers here for best results.
6. Outside a Tianjin clothing shop: Order your summer suits quick. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
7. In a Xian tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
8. In a Guilin hotel: Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
9. An ad by Kunming dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
10. In a Hangzhou zoo: Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food give it to the guard on duty.
11. From a karaoke bar song list in Suzhou: I'd Like to Teach the Wound to Sing; What Kind of Foot Am I.
12. In a Taiyuan bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
13. Hainan airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them to all directions.
14. In a Huashan temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
15. In a restaurant menu in Harbin: Salad a firm's own make; Limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;Beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

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Last revised 31 July 1999.