The following were taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of FORTUNE MAGAZINE:

• I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
• I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.
• Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
• Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
• Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
• Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
• It's best for employers that I not work with people.
• Let's meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
• You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
• I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
• I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
• Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
• I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
• I am loyal to my employer at all costs.
• Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
• I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
• My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
• I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
• Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
• Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
• Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a job.
• Marital status: Often. Children: various.
• Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
• The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
• Finished eighth in my class of ten.
• References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

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Last revised 9 December 2000.